31 July 2013

Does Mothering Ever End?

Every mother will agree that she thinks that the 'next' phase in her child's life will be better or easy on her. Easy in terms of her worries, stress...

Ask anyone who has stayed awake at night when her baby was crying or bit off her nails when the 'apple of her eye' was in a school interview or tied herself in knots when her kid's school bus was unreasonably delayed or has had high decibel, lachrymose arguments as the children grow up for not seeing eye to eye about the colour of the nail polish or site or type of the strange tattoo ...


Yet when that 'next' phase arrives she finds that the maternal stress never ended nor for the phase thereafter...

There is much written about Motherhood and all it stands for. Selfless Love, Sacrifice, Teaching (customs, traditions, manners, family religious rites and so on...) to name just a few things a Mum is expected to do and do well. Naturally this 'mothering' takes a toll in the form of worrying and becomes a second nature to her, especially whenever her child is in front of her. 

This is the crux- the child (son or daughter) always remains a child in her eyes. Whether the baby is now school going or a college or post grad student or when about to get married and to top it all... when her 'child' has one of his own...

So now she is worrying for her child and the child's child. There are many Marathi Moms who baby sit their grandchildren as their own children are working. So the grandmother manages (ignores) any of her own age related ailments and plunges into nurturing the young ones... This process continues for the next generation as well, trust me... I have experienced it!!

Here I have to admit that I know a few Moms who have not gone down this "babysit the grandchild" Street but that doesn't mean they don't worry.

I think Moms must learn to mentally stay aloof so that they can give sensible and practical advice - IF its sought- to their children (now adults) about their children. Sounds complicated? No one said Motherhood is easy... This strategic mental aloofness is vital so she continues to have time for her own hobbies/activities/friends, devote time for exercise/health and so on...

All this sounds easy to write, or agree to but when put in the actual situation, I am not sure...
Honestly, Does a Mom ever retire? Can she?

2 comments:

Shail Mohan said...

It is not complicated AT ALL to not give advice to grown up children. Or else I must be made of different stuff than other mothers. Well :)

Archana said...

:D
Thanks Shail.Keep visiting!!